If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
