Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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