After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
