Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It's never too late to be topless.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
