I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
