I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
They have beer where we have blood.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize