There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
