so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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