Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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