that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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