I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
