I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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