Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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