im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
organizing the empties. That sober.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
