Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
