just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
