is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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