Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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