Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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