great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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