she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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