We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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