Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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