Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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