so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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