dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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