you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
