Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
