Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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