The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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