I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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