I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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