Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
