Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize