You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
