Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
