we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
pray to the hookup gods
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