the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
