Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
thus making me awesome and them whores
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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