Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
