a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
