Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize