If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
if only i could text you this smell
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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