Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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