did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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