It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
