Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
