"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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