She said her name was "party"
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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