My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
