I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
