Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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