i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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