it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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