once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
