Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
