whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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