He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
