So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
