That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
